


Floating

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Filk, Humor, M/M, Poetry, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-05-09
Updated: 1999-05-09
Packaged: 2018-11-11 03:02:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11139816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived atDue South Archive. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address onDue South Archive collection profile.





	Floating

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

Disclaimer: This piece of fiction has been written solely for  
the enjoyment of the readers (and the author)

Disclaimer: This piece of fiction has been written solely for the enjoyment of the readers (and the author). No infringement of copyrights has been intended.

This was inspired by this afternoon's reading of Jane Peyton's "Cave-In," which featured a very interesting conversation between a highly apologetic Kirk and an unusually crabby Spock. In my head, a DS version would go something like this.

****

 

FLOATING

by Renny Ramos

 

It's cold in here.

Cold? Nah. Sure, my lips are blue and my teeth

are chattering like castanets, but no, it's not

cold!

Oh. I forgot.

Of course you did.

No. I should remember.

Why should you? Sure, I've risked my life for you

twenty-four times, but nah, you owe me nothing.

I should remember.

You're not as used to the cold as I am.

Your basic RCMP politeness won't change the fact

that we're drowning on dry land, Frasier.

You're upset with me again.

Upset? Nah. Me, upset? I'm actually being

very, very nice right now!

Ray, can't you see what's happening?

What? What's there to see? 

We're drowning!

You think you're the only one with a brain? 

Well, bite me, Frasier.

You know what I think?

Now, you decide to think!

... You're mad.

No kidding.

Well. I'm sorry we're in this mess.

... Yeah.

... Well, it was my fault, too.

No. This is entirely my fault.

If I hadn't activated the sprinkler system,

we wouldn't be caught in this ... virtual flood

and we wouldn't be wasting our air arguing.

... 

...

...

... We're gonna die and float to the roof like

bloated fish.

...

...

... 

... I concede the possibility.

Not a possibility, Frasier. More like a future

event about to take place in ... oh, let me see 

... five minutes.

...

...

...

... I'm sorry you got stuck with me, Ray.

Poor company doesn't enhance poor situations. 

...

...

...

... You must hate me.

...

... No, I don't hate you, Benny.

I have the urge to throttle the living daylights out of you ... but no,

I don't hate you. 

What we have right now is, well, friction.

Friction?

Yeah. Friction.

Just like the sparks that fly when two 

rocks are rubbed vigorously against

each other?

Yeah.

You mean, something like conflict,

dissension, strife, agitation, discord,

animosity ...

If you want me to start hating you, Frasier,

you're on your way ...

Sorry.

...

...

...

I've conceded error and personal deficiency

to you. What else do I have to do?

Well, for starters, you can shut up.

Well.

...

I'm sorry if I made you mad, Ray.

No problem, Frasier. Being mad is my

favorite past time, you know. No one

can prevent me from indulging in it --

you, least of all.

Ah.

...

...

...

Cough.

...

...

...

Well.

Back to safe subjects.

If you insist.

Cold in here, isn't it?

Colder than you think.

 

\- The End -

10 May 1999

 

E-mail the author: 


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